make time for yourself

Feeling Selfish When You Make Time for Yourself? Don’t.

Does your world make your feel selfish when you make time for yourself – that you should be more attentive to your family, partner or work?  You can’t be there to support the important people in your life if your don’t first support your own wellbeing.

Parents, Managers, Spouses

As parents, we are told to focus on our kids. It is after all, their time to learn how to find their way in the world to show up bold, courageous and ready for their life. Coming of age happens quickly and so they are our focus to get the ready to soar.

As managers, we are told to focus on our employees – they are the eyes and the ears of the company and the place where we connect with customers. If they are not at the top of their game, then our connection with customers and our business suffers.

As spouses, companions or partners, we are told to focus on the needs and wants of the other to be supportive, attentive and loving. After all, the success of the relationships is impact by their happiness.

Though all of these are true, what struck me in thinking about this was that if I am not present, not well, not connected, not tuned in, not aware of me, then none of these can happen well. If my world needs me to be ready to support and guide others, how can I respond well if I don’t first make sure things are all working with me?

You have heard the oxygen mask analogy. The flight attendants in a plane remind us, that in an emergency to put our oxygen mask on first. We can’t be there for others if we are out of air.

We can’t be there for our kids if we are not tuned in and focused in building a happy authentic life. We certainly can’t support, guide and help them find their fit if we never did it for ourselves. If we never discovered our voice, then we are unable to both see the need or have the ability to help our kids do this same work for themselves.

We can’t be there for our employees if we have not developed our leadership values and skills, have a clear vision of where we are headed and are resilient and capable to handle change. If we have not taken the time to identify and develop our beliefs and values, worked on our skills and defined our path, then we are ineffective in guiding, supporting and coaching our employees to bring their best to the workplace and to make their difference.

We can’t be there for our spouse, partner or companion if we are unaware of our talents, passions and values. Without having spent some time looking inward to understand ourselves, we haven’t figured how to be ourselves personally or intimately with others.

3 ways to feed your inner self, to be a stronger outer self

  1. Make time to think, meditate, pray or be quiet. In a loud and pushy world, you can get easily overwhelmed. Creating a place of quiet and calm, allows you the place to sort through your feelings, emotions, thoughts, dreams and opportunities. Once clear about you, life is easier to navigate.
  2. Keep learning. Constantly invest in your skills through reading and practice. Choose things that inspire and engage you, and those that will help you show up more fully to the people, places and events in your world. Go learn something new.
  3. Make a point to be thrilled by life. Watch your world for the things that get you excited, passionate and energized. Building more of these in your day amps your energy throughout the day – to keep you more focused on what is right than wrong with life and relationships.

Is it selfish to make time for yourself? No – it is actually wise. The more significantly you show up to your life, the more significantly you will show up to the other important people in your life. Make time for you. Use it well.

What is one thing you will do to invest in yourself today, that will help you be a better person, parent, partner or employee/employer?