Family Vision

To Live With Purpose, Create A Family Vision, with Scott Beebe – RFL038

To Live With Purpose, Create A Family Vision  – Episode Overview

Today’s technology has made it more difficult to get our kids’ attention – particularly around what matters. I grew up in a larger Italian family where we had regular family meetings to be sure we all know what was expected of us and what mattered to our family. There was great wisdom in creating a clear vision or mission for the family – one that we all could use as a guide at any point in our lives. I like to think of it as a performance standard – of a life “done right” – or a life with purpose. So many times we get caught up in the busyness of life that we forget to focus on living lives that have purpose and that matter. Having a family vision helps our kids stay aligned to what is most important.

Attention and Intention

This week, my attention is on providing consistent life guidance for our kids. My intention is to share how creating a family vision can provide THAT kind of guidance for our kids, in how to live meaningful and purposeful lives in spite of the noise and distractions they’ll meet in their world.

Meet our guest Scott Beebe

Scott Beebe On Family VisionScott Beebe is founder and leader of Business On Purpose, a business coaching, training and strategy group that works to help small business owners, and organizational leaders uncover things that they cannot see, and create game-changing strategies so they can take immediate action and live out their life and business with purpose and intentionality. Scott is also the host of the Business On Purpose podcast.

Episode’s Key TakeAWays

  1. To find our way in life – and to help our kids do the same – we need to provide guidance and structure – this is the value of a family vision.
  2. Our world sends so many mixed messages that our kids need to interpret and process. Coming from a clear place – like a family vision – allows them to stay focused on what matters most among all of life’s distractions.
  3. We create our beliefs by sorting through the messaging we receive. As parents, we are able to help our kids create beliefs of excellence, integrity, resilience, empathy and service as we increase our communication, questions and connection with them.
  4. Technology, though it can help us, can interrupt the important communication process between parents and kids. The more each party spends on their devices and not communicating, the greater the challenge in helping our kids start to form their beliefs.  A great problem in helping our kids get ready for life isn’t because we aren’t physically present in their lives – it comes from not being verbally present in their lives.
  5. Empathy is developed out of the nuanced conversations we have with our kids when they are 2 and 4 and 8 and whatever age; they happen gradually as we constantly communicate with them.
  6. The more we ASK as parents – the more we help our kids “test drive” their abilities, thoughts and values. The more we TELL our kids, the less they assess and build their own perspectives.
  7. Be aware for the Braindead Megaphone – the loudest voice in your kids’ ears – what is it saying and what do they think and believe about it. Stay in touch with your kids – ask questions daily about what they hear, think, believe and notice. You can help quiet the meaningless or unproductive messages they hear and replace them with confidence in themselves and their own voice.
  8. A family vision is an anchor. An anchor doesn’t mean it is doesn’t move – it actually moves within a range. This gives our kids guidance in how to meet and deal with the world – of having the ability to know how to choose wisely particularly when parents are not around. An anchor or family vision is a standard against which you hold you and your family accountable that gives consistent guidance in a changing world.
  9. All kids need value-centered boundaries that are expressed through conversation and connection. These are actually freeing as they allow our kids to go through the world clear of who they are, choosing wisely and being part of the world. These boundaries or this vision helps them know how to successfully navigate life.
  10. In parenting, there are essentials and non-essentials – not everything is essential. Assessing situations from this place can help parents determine how best to handle situations they encounter with their kids. Non-essentials allow for greater flexibility than essentials.
  11. A powerful question to help our kids learn about values and accountability is “Were you proud of what you did, said, etc?”

Some question for parents:

  1. How often are you on your technology or devices? How much time do you spend talking to your kids and asking them questions?
  2. What is your talk like with your kids? Is it critical and judgmental or are you compassionate because you see your kids as a work-in-process?
  3. Where do you drop anchor – where do you set the expectations and standards to help guide your kids?

See Scott’s course – How To Create A Family Vision

Create a family vision imageA powerful, practical course that includes how to create your

Contact Scott for more information:

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Stop and Notice Challenge

Each week we ask you to stop and notice – to develop your skill of tuning in to you and your world. This week’s stop and notice challenge is:

  1.    Stop and Notice how much time you actually communicate with your kids. How can you improve this today?
  2.    Stop and Notice how your kids navigate life. Do you have a family vision you share with them to help them know how be ready for life in a constantly changing world?
  3.    Stop and Notice how much time you tell instead of ask your kids. How would asking them more increase your communication, connection and encourage their better understanding of themselves?
  4.    Stop and Notice what pushback you get from your kids as you look to establish family rules or a family vision. How can you win your kids into seeing the value of guiding principles or standards to help them feel confident in their choices in school, work and life?

A family vision is an anchor – it holds us firm in changing tides. It isn’t rigid – it allows for some movement but the movement will always be around where it is grounded. This helps us help our kids navigate life. Consider a family vision, family meetings or places to establish the family’s values and focus, to be able to live wisely, successfully and responsibly at any age.

Suggested Resource:

The Family Vision And Virtues GuideThe Family Virtues Guide – Simple Ways To Bring Out The Best In Our Children and Ourselves  – by Linda Kavelin Popov and Dan Popov

Bring Compassion, Generosity, and Kindness into Your Home with This Essential Guide

The most important job parents have is to pass basic virtues on to their children, and this invaluable book is designed to help make that job a little easier. Compiled by The Virtues Project, an international organization dedicated to inspiring spiritual growth in young and old alike, this multicultural, interfaith handbook shows parents and teachers how to turn words into actions and ideals into realities. Drawn from the world’s religions, the 52 virtues included here—one for each week of the year—nurture togetherness in family life. The simple strategies, which explain what a virtue is, how to practice it, and signs of success, will engage children of all ages in an exciting process of growth and discovery. This important book shows you how to:

  •         Learn the language of integrity and self-esteem
  •         Understand the five roles parents play
  •         Discover ways to introduce sacred time into family life
  •         Help children make moral choices

The Family Virtues Guide gives adults and children the tools for spiritual and moral growth. Join the thousands of families discovering simple practices for bringing out the best in each other by sharing The Family Virtues Guide.