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How To Successfully Integrate Work And Family, with Joel Louis – RFL042

How to Successfully Integrate Work And Family – Episode Overview

Our world is so distracting. It can be so pushy and bossy. “Go here, buy this, drive this, vote this way, believe this” – we get a constant stream of distractions and directions. Everyone is telling us how to show up to the things in our lives – at work and in our family lives. Trying to balance all of this – to hear our own voice and show up big to our family as a parent and big to your work, takes great attention and awareness. We have to establish what is important in our lives and stay focused on these. As our guest shares during the podcast, “things that matter most can never be at the mercy of things that matter least.” Knowing the difference allows you to look at work and life and integrate the two – trusting your own voice and defining for you and your family, what gets your attention and when.

Attention and Intention

On each show I talk about attention and intention. This week, my attention is on great parenting. My intention is to help us become great parents by learning to focus on what really matters – to tune out the noise and focus on the important things so we can successfully integrate family and work.

Meet Our Guest Joel Louis

Joel Louis On Work And FamilyJoel Louis is an award winning and popular podcaster, the founder of Startup Dad Headquarters, a mastermind host, personal coach and passionate dad of three daughters.  His mission is to help dads be fully engaged in every aspect of their lives and pursue their dreams of building a business – not just any business – one that leaves a mark on this world and a legacy for the next generation.

 

Start Up Dad Podcast


Episode’s Key TakeAWays

  1. This episode is all about focusing on the things that really matter. We have to balance work and life – how clear are you about which of these environments get your attention.
  2. Being able to integrate work and life requires great awareness – to know how to focus on what needs your greatest attention – and when, and how to give the areas that are important regular attention.
  3. Many parents look to start their own businesses or participate in a franchise as a way of better connecting their personal and professional lives. Many times a family issue, illness or challenge can inspire us to make a change in what we consider work – where, when, how much work, the hours, etc. By focusing on what matters most to the family, we get information to determine how to integrate our careers.
  4. Each of the moments with our kids are special – sometimes we just gloss over them because we are busy. Becoming more intentional to tune in to the moments with our kids helps us see them as moments that matter. Telling our kids a story, sharing some wisdom, participating in something they are doing are all ways of helping them see that they are part of what really matters.
  5. What are the opportunities that allow you to better integrate work and family? A home-based business? Working from home? Starting your own business? What conventional and non-conventional approaches to work and family can you consider?
  6. Consider work/roles/opportunities that are family-friendly; talk to your family to help them be work-friendly.
  7. Many times, life’s challenges create opportunities to rethink and reconsider how you are integrating family and work. How are you open to seeing challenges as a way to consider new things rather than just be disappointed when things are challenging or don’t go your way?
  8. Develop your daily habit of meditation, mindfulness or quiet to allow yourself the clarity to choose how you want to go through your day – to remind yourself of the important things that may get pushed around by some of the not-so-important things. These things can easily take over if we are unclear of the important things in each day.
  9. When we work intentionally to be more present and aware – we get to see what is. In that moment, we have the ability of identify the things that matter and the things that don’t matter. This gives us the ability to then choose better, wiser and more clearly for the things that are important to us in life.
  10. We are best when we include what matters to us personally as well as what matters to our families. Once our kids grow up and move out, how are we also still aware of and active in a great life that really matters. Having and raising kids is part of life; discovering, developing and living our greatest abilities is also part of life. Both are important. Make time for both.

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Stop and Notice Challenge

Each week we ask you to stop and notice – to develop your skill of tuning in to you and your world. This week’s stop and notice challenge is:

  1. Stop and Notice what matters and what is important to you. Do your family and work choices reflect this?
  2. Stop and Notice the role family has in your life. How are you making time for what you consider your role is and how you want to be involved in your family?
  3. Stop and Notice the role work has in your life. How are you allowing yourself the ability to feel engaged, valuable and important in the workplace AND be there for your family in a way that matters to them?
  4. Stop and Notice new opportunities that allow you to better integrate family and work. What opportunities would allow you to have a better balance or meaningful focus on what you want at this moment from both work and life?

It really isn’t about work life balance – it is about work life integration – both have to happen. How do you give each the value that it needs based on your values and expectations? To be a great parent doesn’t mean you only focus on your family. Rather, it means that you find a way to blend your professional and personal lives. You need to feel important and effective everywhere – in work and in the family. Defining this helps you build a plan to succeed in both places.

Suggested Resource:

The Book Of Secrets- Unlocking The Hidden Dimensions of Your LifeA resource for work and family  – by Deepak Chopra

We all want to know how to find a soul mate, what career would be most fulfilling, how to live a life with meaning, and how to teach our children well. We are looking for a personal breakthrough, a turning point, a revelation that brings with it new meaning. The Book of Secrets–a crystalline distillation of insights and wisdom accumulated over the lifetime of one of the great spiritual thinkers of our time–provides an exquisite new tool for achieving just that.

Every life is a book of secrets, ready to be opened. The secret of perfect love is found there, along with the secrets of healing, compassion, faith, and the most elusive one of all: who we really are. We are still mysteries to ourselves, despite the proximity of these answers, and what we most long to know remains lodged deep inside.

Because answers to the questions at the center of life are counterintuitive, they are often hidden from view, sequestered from our everyday gaze. In his ongoing quest to elevate our experience, bestselling author Deepak Chopra has isolated fifteen secrets that drive the narrative of this inspiring book–and of our lives. From “The World Is in You” and “What You Seek, You Already Are” to “Evil Is Not Your Enemy” and “You Are Truly Free When You Are Not a Person,” The Book of Secrets is rich with insights, a priceless treasure that can transport us beyond change to transformation, and from there to a sacred place where we can savor the nectar of enlightenment.

To Find Your Way In Life, Think Like An Entrepreneur, with Matt Miller – RFL037

To Find Your Way In Life, Think Like An Entrepreneur – Episode Overview

There is a great quote by Buckminster Fuller. He asks, “What is it on this planet that needs doing that I know something about that probably won’t happen unless I take responsibility for it?” So as we guide, support and spend time with our kids, how are we helping them discover what they know about and love doing? Then, how can we help them learn to tune in to their world to see the needs and opportunities to do what they do best? For some it will be starting a family business. Some will find their career of a lifetime and others will focus on improving some aspect of the world. What matters most is that they connect their greatest joy and abilities with a need they identify in their world.

Attention and Intention

This week, my attention is on work and careers. My intention is to help parents help their kids learn to think like entrepreneurs – always watching for opportunities to do and use what they do best to be successful and happy in life.

Meet our guest Matt Miller

Matt Miller on Think Like An EntrepreneurMatt Miller, a previous Air Force pilot, is the President and Founder of School Spirit Vending, a family run business started in 2007 that combines vending and school fundraising. A committed entrepreneur and passionate dad determined to help his kids discover and find their unique way in the world, he integrates his kids in the business to show up successful, professional and making a difference in life.

IMPORTANT! Download Matt’s ebook, Live Your Dreams: The Top 10 Reasons Why You Need to Own A Vending Business.

Find out more about Matt and School Spirit Vending’s franchising program, a way for busy professionals and their families to develop secondary income while raising millions of dollars for education at www.SSVBusiness.com.

Episode’s Key TakeAWays

  1. Learning to tune in to our world – to really see what is in front of us is the key to finding our unique way in life. We can’t see opportunities to do what we do best and to be our best selves if we aren’t good at gathering and assessing information.
  2. Teach your kids to pay attention to the details – to use all of their senses to get good at gathering information about their world. Our world constantly sends us information – just what we need to invent opportunities.
  3. Life gives us information about ourselves – we didn’t get an owners manual. We try things out to find out how they fit – what we rock at and what we stink at. Tuning in to our world is how we try things out and get to know who we really are.
  4. What does the world tell you about you? What environments get you excited and activate your passions – these are signals to you. It is the world saying – do this, land here, try this out. It is the same for your kids.
  5. Each of us has the ability to think like an entrepreneur – to use what we know our ourselves and our world to find opportunities – for work, school and life. It is a skill we all can learn and one we will have to help our kids learn (there are not learning it in school).
  6. Know yourself to know your own voice. This gives you clarity about what is right in today’s world for you – it will help you to not wander in life – but to be intentional in choosing what fits you best.
  7. Help your kids discover their inner voice – what abilities do they shine with? How can you help them see how to apply these abilities in today’s world?
  8. Homeschooling can provide kids the ability to pursue their gifts, passions and interests – instead of following an existing established school curriculum. Many schools just push students through the system instead of helping them discover and connect to what is unique and amazing in them. Having a voice in how you help your kids discover and experience their world can expand their awareness and opportunities. (See podcast 14 – Living and Loving Life Your Way – with a family that chose to home school their kids on the road as they sold their house and travel the country seeing everything together).
  9. Right in front of you is a brilliant idea – one that could help you find your way in life (good-fit career or life direction) or to start a business that addresses a need, challenge or opportunity. Remember the Buckminster Fuller quote, “What is it on the planet that needs doing that you know something about that probably won’t happen unless you take responsibility for it?” Learn to think this way and teach your kids to think this way.

Some question for parents:

  1. What would be different if you had known more about yourself years ago –and how can you make knowing themselves a priority for your kids?
  2. What opportunities do you regularly see that need you to take some action on?
  3. How can you help your kids tune in more intentionally to their world – to help them be more connected to the information their world shares with them to help them make better and wiser work and life choices?
  4. What can you do together with your kids to create opportunities – and is there a potential business idea that could involve the entire family?

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Stop and Notice Challenge

Each week we ask you to stop and notice – to develop your skill of tuning in to you and your world. This week’s stop and notice challenge is:

  •    Stop and Notice what you are good at and passionate about. How can you connect these to applications in your world?
  •    Stop and Notice what your kids are good at and passionate about. How can you help them learn how to connect these to applications in their world?
  •    Stop and Notice the places for business opportunities – the places for you and your family to work on something together.
  •    Stop and Notice how your kids’ school is helping them or not helping them discover, develop and live their unique abilities. How can you step in and have a more active role in this?

Right in front of each of us, all the time, are opportunities. Not all opportunities are for us – so we must know ourselves and our unique abilities (and help our kids know themselves and their unique abilities) to be able to use them to find or create the opportunities that fit them. Tune in. Stop and Notice. Pay attention – then assess what the world is sharing with you. These are life skills – be sure your kids have them.

Suggested Resource:

The 4 Essentials of Entrepreneurial Thinking – What Successful People Didn’t Learn In School by Cliff Michaels

Think Like An Entrepreneur - 4 EssentialsIn The 4 Essentials of Entrepreneurial Thinking, Cliff Michaels takes us on an inspirational journey while capturing the passion and wisdom of extraordinary people. On the cutting edge of life and business strategies for over 20 years, Cliff not only shares his triumphs and tribulations as an entrepreneur, he unleashes a fun system of timeless lessons anyone can follow. Drawing on classic mentors from da Vinci, Edison, and Mozart, to modern moguls like Jobs, Oprah, and Branson, Cliff suggests we all benefit from a real-world MBA – your Master’s in Basic Abilities. This fast-paced book raises the bar for learning success principles.

How To Help Your Kids Learn to Think Like an Entrepreneur with Ally LoPrete – RFL032

How to Help Your Kids Learn To Think Like an Entrepreneur – Episode Overview

To think like an entrepreneur doesn’t mean you have to start a business. Rather, to think like an entrepreneur means you are someone who actively and intentionally watches your world for places to connect WITH what is best in you, to find your fit and to make your impact. Great entrepreneurs know themselves – what they are good at, passionate about and what matters to them – they know their world – they see its successes, needs and challenges – and they connect the two to create opportunities. Imagine if we were able to get ourselves and our kids to think this way – to go through life intentionally looking for, seeking out and creating opportunities to do what WE DO BEST. Think of the options and possibilities it would create for them AND for us…

Attention and Intention

This week, my attention is on how to help our kids (and ourselves) find our way in life – what fits us. My intention is that we learn to train ourselves to seek out, create and notice areas that need what we do best – so we can build lives of happiness, success and impact. In short to learn to think like an entrepreneur – to give ourselves options.

Meet our guest Ally LoPrete

Ally Loprete on how to think like an EntrepreneurAlly Loprete is a talented coach, speaker and is the host of this Little Parent Stayed Home, a radio program on iHeart Talk Radio, with a mission to bring 1 million parents home through self-employment and entrepreneurship. Known as the Work/Life Balance Parenting expert, she founded the widely popular OurMilkMoney.com, the largest online search directory for parents in the world. She is committed to helping all parents realize their greatness, and in the process, learn how to guide, support and coach their kids to do the same – to make their marks on life. High energy, focused and committed to doing amazing things, Ally is a role model for those needing to rekindle the energy to live life like it matters.

Episode’s Key TakeAWays

  1. Every moment provides the OPPORTUNITY to find the joy in life and in being the parent. We just have to choose to see it.
  2. To think like an entrepreneur doesn’t mean you have to start a business. To think like an entrepreneur means you know yourself, know your world and now how to find the opportunities in your world that fit you and your best abilities. Entrepreneurs are always looking for ways to do what they do best – they see things differently – they are opportunity hunters.
  3. Each of us has superhero qualities – we are great at some things (and not at others). When we find our thing, we start to see the opportunities related to it. This gives us clarity in starting to create our road in life – a road that lets us use our superhero abilities to show up big to all we do (note for parents – help your kids start to see and live their “superhero” abilities). Embrace what makes you and your kids different and unique as a way of creating clarity to find what in today’s world is for you (parents and kids).
  4. Opportunities are challenges and life lessons reframed in a positive light. Challenges can take us and our kids down – but by reframing challenges or obstacles into a conversation of seeing the OPPORTUNITY, trains our kids to be confident in handling what life sends them, knowing how to make something good out of whatever happens.
  5. Some people don’t like us when we shine – when we find and do our “thing.” Just be aware and don’t let others stop you from seeing and developing opportunities that are clear for you.
  6. Opportunities help us see what environments light up for us. Opportunities pull us in specific directions. If we see no opportunities, that generally means we are in an area that is not for us. This gives us clarity.
  7. We have to remember that each of our kids is different and the opportunities that will matter to each will likely be different. There is no one-size-fits-all parenting or no one-size-fits-all opportunity. Take the time to help each kid seek out, create or find their opportunities. What do your kids get pulled to or are interested in – these are places for opportunities.
  8. Life is filled with opportunities. Most of them we miss because we focus more on the challenges than the opportunities. As we become more like entrepreneurs in the way we think – always looking for the opportunity in what happens – we share with ourselves and our kids a world of possibilities. In these possibilities, we each will find our thing – our place – our way to show up big to our lives

Some question for parents:

  1. What message do you share with your kids about welcoming and using challenges to find opportunities?
  2. How do you help your kids learn to see things differently – to see the opportunity in things that others can’t see?
  3. How do you stay supportive as kids start to discover their abilities and opportunities?
  4. Parenting is a big job and big responsibility – what do you do each day to help yourself feel valuable, important and living life fully?
  5. How do you pay attention well enough in this moment to hunt for the opportunity to make this moment great?

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Stop and Notice Challenge

Each week we ask you to stop and notice – to develop your skill of tuning in to you and your world. This week’s stop and notice challenge is:

  1. Stop and Notice how you look at life challenges – do you see the negative or do you see opportunity?
  2. Stop and Notice how you help your kids hunt for opportunities. How are you helping them learn how to think like an entrepreneur?
  3. Stop and Notice what makes your kid unique, different and amazing. How are you helping him see this and use this to start to identify the opportunities that fit him?
  4. Stop and Notice how you take care of yourself. How can you be great as a parent if you are not feeling valuable, important and relevant as a person? What opportunities do you have or make to take care of yourself?

Life is filled with opportunities. Most of them we miss because we focus more on the challenges than the opportunities. As we become more like entrepreneurs in the way we think – always looking for the opportunity in whatever happens – then we share with ourselves and our kids a world of possibilities. In these possibilities, we each will find our thing – our place – our way to show up big to our lives.

Suggested Resource:

You Are Here - So Think Like An EntrepreneurYou Are Here – Discovering the Magic of the Present Moment – by Thich Nhat Hanh

In this book Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Zen monk, author, and meditation master, distills the essence of Buddhist thought and practice, emphasizing the power of mindfulness to transform our lives. “Mindfulness is not an evasion or an escape,” he explains. “It means being here, present, and totally alive. It is true freedom—and without this freedom, there is no happiness.”

Based on a retreat that Thich Nhat Hanh led for Westerners, this book offers a range of simple, effective practices for cultivating mindfulness, including awareness of breathing and walking, deep listening, and skillful speech. You Are Here also offers guidance on healing emotional pain and manifesting real love and compassion in our relationships with others.

Success and Failure, a Practical Discussion with Seymour Segnit RFL13

A Practical Conversation About Success and Failure – Episode Overview

Seymour Segnit on Success and FailureIn this episode we connect with the founder of thingCharger and clever entrepreneur, Seymour Segnit. He candidly shares his thoughts on moving on from challenges and failures and rallying around successes. His wisdom is for parents as well as the business community.

Attention and Intention

In this episode our attention is on how to notice the successes and failures in our lives, and our intention is that we learn to be realistic in using both our successes and failures to make better decisions – everywhere.

Meet our Guest – Seymour Segnit

A serial entrepreneur who has learned to spot good ideas, build from failures and keep perspective, Seymour Segnit is a realist. He knows his abilities, having been a peak potential trainer; he knows how to look at today’s world for needs and opportunities to add value and make a difference in areas that need what he does best. His latest venture is the creation of thingCharger, a new device charger that eliminates the problem of a tangle of cords and wires. It became the all-time #1 crowdfunded mobile accessory. Click on his links to see thingCharger and some of Seymour’s others great ideas.

Guest Links:

Segnit 1

Episode’s Key Takeaways:

Successes are events to build on. Celebrate them and do more with them.

Help your kids see the areas they excel in and by connecting what they are great at to places in their world, they see successes happen. According to the wisdom of Tom Morris (a future podcast guest) we should be both noble (aware that we are capable of great things) and humble (aware that others are too). So, success is a moment where it all comes together and we use it to learn how to build more events like these. Spending all our time celebrating our successes will quickly help us lose our edge. Celebrate and build.

Failures are events to learn from.

Most people avoid failure; in fact, our culture trains us to fear it and avoid it. However, talking to most of the successful people over hundreds of years, we see that what was different for them was their view of failure. Failure is a learning event, not to be feared, but to be used to grow. This doesn’t mean we shrug it off, it means we pay greater attention to the failure to build a way to be better because of it. Great entrepreneurs never fear failure – they look at it as the information they needed to move more wisely with the next decision. Learn from and grow.

Some question for parents:

  1. How do you help your kids look at and use their successes?
  2. How can you help your kids discover what they are good at to help them identify the areas that need what they do best, to help them learn how to be more successful?
  3. How do you help your kids look at and use their failures?
  4. How do you allow your kids to fail and not always rush in and make things right?
  5. How do you talk about failures – yours, others and theirs – to help them see how to grow from them and not to be afraid of them?

Stop and Notice Challenge

Each week we ask you to stop and notice – to develop your skill of tuning in to you and your world. This week’s stop and notice challenge is:

  1.    Stop and Notice a recent failure. Ask yourself these questions.
    •    What caused it – what was my role in it?
    •    What did it teach me?
    •     What will I be sure to do better next time?
  1.    Stop and notice a recent success. This is important because we generally spend time noticing our failures and not our successes. When you notice a success, ask yourself the following questions:
    •    What caused it – what was my role in it?
    •    What did it teach me?
    •     How can I build on it for the next time?

Life just provides learning – from both successes and failures. Stop and notice both and you will make life your live classroom, ready to teach you all sorts of things you need to be ready for life.

Suggested Resource

Everyday Blessings – The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Myla and John Kabat-Zinn

Everyday Blessings Book - A Success and Failure ResourceThis is my favorite book on mindful parenting, well in addition to the Conscious Parent by Shifali Tsbary. Mindful Parenting brings awareness to the moments of our parenting – of learning to show up to the successes and failures of life – always watching, learning, growing and connecting with our kids. In try Kabat-Zinn form, the book is large but it truly is not meant to be read all at once. Find the sections that appeal most to you – and work from there. They address every aspect of mindfulness from its basic understanding, to becoming self-aware, to using that awareness to show up differently to your kids. This book stays on my desk to check in on their thinking as life sends me things to deal with.

Share it with someone. We all get better when we learn how to help each other become the best parents we can be.