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To Live With Purpose, Create A Family Vision, with Scott Beebe – RFL038

To Live With Purpose, Create A Family Vision  – Episode Overview

Today’s technology has made it more difficult to get our kids’ attention – particularly around what matters. I grew up in a larger Italian family where we had regular family meetings to be sure we all know what was expected of us and what mattered to our family. There was great wisdom in creating a clear vision or mission for the family – one that we all could use as a guide at any point in our lives. I like to think of it as a performance standard – of a life “done right” – or a life with purpose. So many times we get caught up in the busyness of life that we forget to focus on living lives that have purpose and that matter. Having a family vision helps our kids stay aligned to what is most important.

Attention and Intention

This week, my attention is on providing consistent life guidance for our kids. My intention is to share how creating a family vision can provide THAT kind of guidance for our kids, in how to live meaningful and purposeful lives in spite of the noise and distractions they’ll meet in their world.

Meet our guest Scott Beebe

Scott Beebe On Family VisionScott Beebe is founder and leader of Business On Purpose, a business coaching, training and strategy group that works to help small business owners, and organizational leaders uncover things that they cannot see, and create game-changing strategies so they can take immediate action and live out their life and business with purpose and intentionality. Scott is also the host of the Business On Purpose podcast.

Episode’s Key TakeAWays

  1. To find our way in life – and to help our kids do the same – we need to provide guidance and structure – this is the value of a family vision.
  2. Our world sends so many mixed messages that our kids need to interpret and process. Coming from a clear place – like a family vision – allows them to stay focused on what matters most among all of life’s distractions.
  3. We create our beliefs by sorting through the messaging we receive. As parents, we are able to help our kids create beliefs of excellence, integrity, resilience, empathy and service as we increase our communication, questions and connection with them.
  4. Technology, though it can help us, can interrupt the important communication process between parents and kids. The more each party spends on their devices and not communicating, the greater the challenge in helping our kids start to form their beliefs.  A great problem in helping our kids get ready for life isn’t because we aren’t physically present in their lives – it comes from not being verbally present in their lives.
  5. Empathy is developed out of the nuanced conversations we have with our kids when they are 2 and 4 and 8 and whatever age; they happen gradually as we constantly communicate with them.
  6. The more we ASK as parents – the more we help our kids “test drive” their abilities, thoughts and values. The more we TELL our kids, the less they assess and build their own perspectives.
  7. Be aware for the Braindead Megaphone – the loudest voice in your kids’ ears – what is it saying and what do they think and believe about it. Stay in touch with your kids – ask questions daily about what they hear, think, believe and notice. You can help quiet the meaningless or unproductive messages they hear and replace them with confidence in themselves and their own voice.
  8. A family vision is an anchor. An anchor doesn’t mean it is doesn’t move – it actually moves within a range. This gives our kids guidance in how to meet and deal with the world – of having the ability to know how to choose wisely particularly when parents are not around. An anchor or family vision is a standard against which you hold you and your family accountable that gives consistent guidance in a changing world.
  9. All kids need value-centered boundaries that are expressed through conversation and connection. These are actually freeing as they allow our kids to go through the world clear of who they are, choosing wisely and being part of the world. These boundaries or this vision helps them know how to successfully navigate life.
  10. In parenting, there are essentials and non-essentials – not everything is essential. Assessing situations from this place can help parents determine how best to handle situations they encounter with their kids. Non-essentials allow for greater flexibility than essentials.
  11. A powerful question to help our kids learn about values and accountability is “Were you proud of what you did, said, etc?”

Some question for parents:

  1. How often are you on your technology or devices? How much time do you spend talking to your kids and asking them questions?
  2. What is your talk like with your kids? Is it critical and judgmental or are you compassionate because you see your kids as a work-in-process?
  3. Where do you drop anchor – where do you set the expectations and standards to help guide your kids?

See Scott’s course – How To Create A Family Vision

Create a family vision imageA powerful, practical course that includes how to create your

Contact Scott for more information: scottbeebe@yahoo.com

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Stop and Notice Challenge

Each week we ask you to stop and notice – to develop your skill of tuning in to you and your world. This week’s stop and notice challenge is:

  1.    Stop and Notice how much time you actually communicate with your kids. How can you improve this today?
  2.    Stop and Notice how your kids navigate life. Do you have a family vision you share with them to help them know how be ready for life in a constantly changing world?
  3.    Stop and Notice how much time you tell instead of ask your kids. How would asking them more increase your communication, connection and encourage their better understanding of themselves?
  4.    Stop and Notice what pushback you get from your kids as you look to establish family rules or a family vision. How can you win your kids into seeing the value of guiding principles or standards to help them feel confident in their choices in school, work and life?

A family vision is an anchor – it holds us firm in changing tides. It isn’t rigid – it allows for some movement but the movement will always be around where it is grounded. This helps us help our kids navigate life. Consider a family vision, family meetings or places to establish the family’s values and focus, to be able to live wisely, successfully and responsibly at any age.

Suggested Resource:

The Family Vision And Virtues GuideThe Family Virtues Guide – Simple Ways To Bring Out The Best In Our Children and Ourselves  – by Linda Kavelin Popov and Dan Popov

Bring Compassion, Generosity, and Kindness into Your Home with This Essential Guide

The most important job parents have is to pass basic virtues on to their children, and this invaluable book is designed to help make that job a little easier. Compiled by The Virtues Project, an international organization dedicated to inspiring spiritual growth in young and old alike, this multicultural, interfaith handbook shows parents and teachers how to turn words into actions and ideals into realities. Drawn from the world’s religions, the 52 virtues included here—one for each week of the year—nurture togetherness in family life. The simple strategies, which explain what a virtue is, how to practice it, and signs of success, will engage children of all ages in an exciting process of growth and discovery. This important book shows you how to:

  •         Learn the language of integrity and self-esteem
  •         Understand the five roles parents play
  •         Discover ways to introduce sacred time into family life
  •         Help children make moral choices

The Family Virtues Guide gives adults and children the tools for spiritual and moral growth. Join the thousands of families discovering simple practices for bringing out the best in each other by sharing The Family Virtues Guide.

 

How You and Your Kids Can Live Significant and Successful Lives with Aaron Walker – RFL031

How You and Your Kids Can Live Significant and Successful Lives – Episode Overview

Many people call self-help, shelf-help – books that stay on the shelves but don’t really make that much of an impact. So today we talk about PRACTICAL personal development and growth. We know that as we discover, develop and live what is best in us – something that takes practice and learning – we live a greater version of ourselves. This does two amazing things. First it helps us become better parents, and secondly, we see the value in personal development so we can then guide, support and coach our kids into THEIR greater development.

Attention and Intention

This week, my attention is on what it takes to be a great parent. My intention is to share that developing ourselves is the key to becoming our best in all we do – particularly in our parenting – is the key to teaching our kids how to live significant and successful lives.

Meet our guest Aaron Walker

Aaron Walker on successful livesAaron T Walker, founder of View From the Top, is a guide who helps men discover and develop lives of success and significance through coaching, masterminds and resources that focus on their business, personal and spiritual lives. Over many years Aaron has written hundreds of blog posts, has interviewed and been interviewed by some of today’s smartest talent and has created powerful products to help you with your productivity, understanding yourself and directing your life in ways that truly matter.

IMPORTANT Free Offer from Aaron for you!

successful lives and the view from the topAaron has created a landing page for our listeners and on it has given you free access to three of his great resources:

  1.    Your personal assessment
  2.    What do I want (how to live intentionally)
  3.    Steps to a productive day

As someone who regularly inspires others to discover and live what is best in them, these resources will help you grow in your development and be clearer about what it means to live a successful and significant life. Click here for the link to the landing page or paste this link (www.viewfromthetop.com/yourkids) into your browser. Thank you Aaron!

Episode’s Key TakeAWays

  1. Significance is about seeing more than just yourself – it is about spending energy looking out more than in.
  2. Leadership values that drive leadership behaviors are: Excellence, Integrity, Resilience and Service. Being successful and significant in life comes from developing these values in ourselves and in our kids. We can’t help but show up successful and significant in life when we develop a focus on excellence, integrity, resilience and service.
  3. Parents can learn from coaches – to encourage, inspire and lift up our kids to tap into their inner abilities and use them to make their impact and mark on the world.
  4. The world has us convinced that success comes from having more possessions.
  5. The key to success – everywhere – is the development of relationships. Regularly check in on your kids – and others – just to show your interest. This helps them feel valuable and significant. As they learn this behavior from you, they then can do it for others.
  6. Aaron shares a great story of the present parent who really tunes in and listens to his son, takes the time to answer his question and really connects. Few things have such a great impact on our kids and on the quality of our parenting as our commitment to be present and responsive to our kids.
  7. We are unique, talented and amazing people independent of our parenting. It is important for us, to be great parents, to keep working on being a great person – being the best version of ourselves.
  8. Stop telling, start asking – spend more time asking than telling your kids. As you ask, you activate their growth and thinking. You help them tune in, learn and tap into their greatest abilities. This helps them determine how to be successful in today’s world.

Some question for parents:

  1. What message do you share with your kids about what success and significance means? How are you their go-to source to help them define this than to use what the world defines?
  2. How are you intentionally supporting and uplifting your kids – what things are you doing to ensure your kids always feel significant?
  3. When was the last time you spent time on developing yourself – of ensuring you are always learning and growing – to be sure you are living a life of success and significance?
  4. When was the last time you asked your kids how you are doing as a parent – not about giving them things – but about showing them that they are valuable, important and precious to you?

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Stop and Notice Challenge

Each week we ask you to stop and notice – to develop your skill of tuning in to you and your world. This week’s stop and notice challenge is:

  1. Stop and Notice how you make your kids feel significant in your life. What needs improving?
  2. Stop and Notice what you do in your own learning and growing to help you feel significant in your own life. What investment do you make in yourself to be your best – to be able to be the best parent you can be?
  3. Stop and Notice what lessons you are sharing with your kids on how to be successful and significant in life. What values are you teaching your kids that help them focus outward as well as inward to have a balanced life?

We are our kids’ guides, support and coaches – to help them learn about themselves, learn about their world and how to build a life of success and significance. What matters most to them is feeling important, valuable and significant in our lives. Make time for them. Guide them and what they learn from you, they will use to build their lives of success and significance.

Suggested Resource:

The Path To Purpose – Helping Our Kids Find Their Calling In Life – by William Damon

Successful Lives and The Path To Purpose(Outstanding book!) Drawing on the revelatory results of a landmark study, William Damon — one of the country’s leading writers on the lives of young people, whose book Greater Expectations won the Parents’ Choice Award — brilliantly investigates the most pressing issue in the lives of youth today: why so many young people are “failing to launch” — living at home longer, lacking career motivation, struggling to make a timely transition into adulthood, and not yet finding a life pursuit that inspires them.

His groundbreaking study shows that about one-fifth of youth today are thriving — highly engaged in activities they love and developing a clear sense of what they want to do with their lives — but approximately one-fourth are still rudderless, at serious risk of never fulfilling their potential. The largest portion are teetering on the brink, in need of guidance to help them move forward: some are “dabblers” who pursue strings of disconnected interests with no real commitment; others, “dreamers” who have no realistic plans or understanding of what success will require.

What makes the difference? Damon shows that the key ingredient for the highly engaged is that they have developed a clear sense of purpose in their lives that motivates them and gives them direction. Based on in-depth interviews, he takes readers inside the minds of the disengaged and drifting kids and exposes their confusion and anxiety about what they should do with their lives. He then offers compelling portraits of the young people who are thriving and identifies the nine key factors that have made the difference for them, presenting simple but powerful methods that parents and all adults can and must employ in order to cultivate that energized sense of purpose in young people that will launch them on the path to a deeply satisfying and productive life.

 

What is A Parent’s True Job, with Dr. Scott Trettenero – RFL026

What Is A Parent’s True Job? – Episode Overview

What is our job as a parent? What is the most important task we have? We’ll hear today that it is to guide, support and coach our kids into discovering, developing and living who they really are. To help them be authentic – to help them build their lives around what they do best. This is complicated. Most of us don’t know who we are. Even more of us are too influenced by what the world says we should be. So how can we help our kids with this? They need someone who can walk with them as a guide to figure themselves out and how they fit in today’s world. They need their parents.

Attention and Intention

This week, my attention is on modern parenting. And my intention is to share new perspectives of how to show up differently to our kids to help them become who they really are and to live their potential.

Meet our guest Dr Scott Trettenero

Dr. Scott Trettenero discussing a parent's true jobDr. Scott Trettenero is a popular S Florida dentist, philosopher, student of human nature and parent of 2. He uses his expansive understanding of who we are and how we connect to our inner greatness to guide his interactions with his family, colleagues, friends and patients. He is the author of the profound book, Master The Mystery of Human Nature.

Episode’s Key TakeAWays

  1. Great parents are guides, support and coaches for their kids – to help them discover who they really are and to help the learn how to build their lives around what they do best. Our greatest role is to help our kids discover, develop and live who they really are.
  2. The best we can be for our kids is authentic – it gives them permission to be the same.
  3. Awareness is the key to discovering how each of your kids is different.
  4. Learning to see and appreciate our differences means our differences don’t need to separate us, but rather teach us how to appreciate everyone and that different is how we each get to do life.
  5. Many times our kids have competing definitions from us of what happiness and success means. It is our responsibility to help them show up to who they are, not who we need them be.
  6. Nurture and support your kid’s uniqueness, don’t try to parent it out of them.
  7. 70% of people are disengaged in their jobs – much of it happens because we don’t help our kids discover who they are and then show up to places in work and life that fit them. It is hard to be engaged in things that you aren’t good at or don’t have any interest in.
  8. Share this quote with your kids: “Your purpose in life is where your greatest joy meets the world greatest need.” Help them discover what gives them great joy and investigate their world with them for the places that connect their greatest joy to the world’s needs. This creates opportunity.
  9. We have a moral obligation to deliver to the world the gifts we came packaged with – to make our world better. How can you do this and how can you help your kids learn how to do this?
  10. Our kids teach us as much as we teach them. Are we always open to their lessons?
  11. Kids remind us of what we forgot – how to be authentic, true and present.
  12. Rethink the phrase, “Because I said so.” It takes all of the learning of the moment away. Instead, talk through situations so kids learn and understand. “Because I said so” is a lazy way out of parenting.

Some question for parents:

  1. What do you think your most important job is as a parent?
  2. In what ways do you see each of your kids as just right as they are?
  3. In what ways do you try to change your kids from who they are to who you want them to be?
  4. How do you make your interactions with your kids learning events for you?
  5. How are you showing up authentic and inspiring your kids to do the same?
  6. How often do you say to your kids – “Because I said so?”

Tweet this:

Stop and Notice Challenge

Each week we ask you to stop and notice – to develop your skill of tuning in to you and your world. This week’s stop and notice challenge is:

  1. Stop and Notice what is unique and different about each of your kids. How are you celebrating and encouraging their uniqueness?
  2. Stop and Notice how authentic you are. Do you live as who you really are or are you more influenced by the voices and situations around you – what do you think this tells your kids?
  3. Stop and Notice how you teach and learn from your kids. In what ways can you be more open to learning from your kids?
  4. Stop and Notice how often you tell instead of ask your kids. Telling takes away their ability to think. Asking invites them to sort through their feelings, thoughts and behaviors.

Our greatest job is to help our kids discover, develop and live who they really are – not as little versions of us – but as who they are created to be. Tuning in to them is how you can discover this and how you can help them see that who they are is just right.

Suggested Resource:

Master The Mystery of Human Nature By D. Scott Trettenero

Book coverLife is a mystery, on planet Earth, where the billions of people live their lives day to day, most not knowing what their purpose is. We can’t figure out life’s answers because some of us don’t even know the questions to ask. It can be so confusing—sometimes even a bit maddening. In Master the Mystery of Human Nature, author D. Scott Trettenero tackles the vast and mysterious subject of human nature and unravels its secrets to give you clarity and a depth of understanding to some of the previously unanswered questions of life.

He has translated the important, yet complex work of philosophers, psychologists, scientists, and other pioneers in this field into an easy-to-understand format with ideas that can be applied to everyday life. Trettenero has taken the essential aspects of their work, simplified it, and has created a new matrix that connects the dots to better explain how and why people do what they do.

Master the Mystery of Human Nature helps you learn about yourself, others, and how the world works because of our differences. Conflicts will take on an entirely new meaning; things that used to be a mystery, will make sense. It will help you experience a sense of calm and freedom once you see the beauty and wonder of how our human nature reflects the balance of power in Nature and the ways that duality shapes our every experience on this earth. This resource can help parents see themselves and their kids differently – improving their connection, honesty and relationships.