A parent's true job

What is A Parent’s True Job, with Dr. Scott Trettenero – RFL026

What Is A Parent’s True Job? – Episode Overview

What is our job as a parent? What is the most important task we have? We’ll hear today that it is to guide, support and coach our kids into discovering, developing and living who they really are. To help them be authentic – to help them build their lives around what they do best. This is complicated. Most of us don’t know who we are. Even more of us are too influenced by what the world says we should be. So how can we help our kids with this? They need someone who can walk with them as a guide to figure themselves out and how they fit in today’s world. They need their parents.

Attention and Intention

This week, my attention is on modern parenting. And my intention is to share new perspectives of how to show up differently to our kids to help them become who they really are and to live their potential.

Meet our guest Dr Scott Trettenero

Dr. Scott Trettenero discussing a parent's true jobDr. Scott Trettenero is a popular S Florida dentist, philosopher, student of human nature and parent of 2. He uses his expansive understanding of who we are and how we connect to our inner greatness to guide his interactions with his family, colleagues, friends and patients. He is the author of the profound book, Master The Mystery of Human Nature.

Episode’s Key TakeAWays

  1. Great parents are guides, support and coaches for their kids – to help them discover who they really are and to help the learn how to build their lives around what they do best. Our greatest role is to help our kids discover, develop and live who they really are.
  2. The best we can be for our kids is authentic – it gives them permission to be the same.
  3. Awareness is the key to discovering how each of your kids is different.
  4. Learning to see and appreciate our differences means our differences don’t need to separate us, but rather teach us how to appreciate everyone and that different is how we each get to do life.
  5. Many times our kids have competing definitions from us of what happiness and success means. It is our responsibility to help them show up to who they are, not who we need them be.
  6. Nurture and support your kid’s uniqueness, don’t try to parent it out of them.
  7. 70% of people are disengaged in their jobs – much of it happens because we don’t help our kids discover who they are and then show up to places in work and life that fit them. It is hard to be engaged in things that you aren’t good at or don’t have any interest in.
  8. Share this quote with your kids: “Your purpose in life is where your greatest joy meets the world greatest need.” Help them discover what gives them great joy and investigate their world with them for the places that connect their greatest joy to the world’s needs. This creates opportunity.
  9. We have a moral obligation to deliver to the world the gifts we came packaged with – to make our world better. How can you do this and how can you help your kids learn how to do this?
  10. Our kids teach us as much as we teach them. Are we always open to their lessons?
  11. Kids remind us of what we forgot – how to be authentic, true and present.
  12. Rethink the phrase, “Because I said so.” It takes all of the learning of the moment away. Instead, talk through situations so kids learn and understand. “Because I said so” is a lazy way out of parenting.

Some question for parents:

  1. What do you think your most important job is as a parent?
  2. In what ways do you see each of your kids as just right as they are?
  3. In what ways do you try to change your kids from who they are to who you want them to be?
  4. How do you make your interactions with your kids learning events for you?
  5. How are you showing up authentic and inspiring your kids to do the same?
  6. How often do you say to your kids – “Because I said so?”

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Stop and Notice Challenge

Each week we ask you to stop and notice – to develop your skill of tuning in to you and your world. This week’s stop and notice challenge is:

  1. Stop and Notice what is unique and different about each of your kids. How are you celebrating and encouraging their uniqueness?
  2. Stop and Notice how authentic you are. Do you live as who you really are or are you more influenced by the voices and situations around you – what do you think this tells your kids?
  3. Stop and Notice how you teach and learn from your kids. In what ways can you be more open to learning from your kids?
  4. Stop and Notice how often you tell instead of ask your kids. Telling takes away their ability to think. Asking invites them to sort through their feelings, thoughts and behaviors.

Our greatest job is to help our kids discover, develop and live who they really are – not as little versions of us – but as who they are created to be. Tuning in to them is how you can discover this and how you can help them see that who they are is just right.

Suggested Resource:

Master The Mystery of Human Nature By D. Scott Trettenero

Book coverLife is a mystery, on planet Earth, where the billions of people live their lives day to day, most not knowing what their purpose is. We can’t figure out life’s answers because some of us don’t even know the questions to ask. It can be so confusing—sometimes even a bit maddening. In Master the Mystery of Human Nature, author D. Scott Trettenero tackles the vast and mysterious subject of human nature and unravels its secrets to give you clarity and a depth of understanding to some of the previously unanswered questions of life.

He has translated the important, yet complex work of philosophers, psychologists, scientists, and other pioneers in this field into an easy-to-understand format with ideas that can be applied to everyday life. Trettenero has taken the essential aspects of their work, simplified it, and has created a new matrix that connects the dots to better explain how and why people do what they do.

Master the Mystery of Human Nature helps you learn about yourself, others, and how the world works because of our differences. Conflicts will take on an entirely new meaning; things that used to be a mystery, will make sense. It will help you experience a sense of calm and freedom once you see the beauty and wonder of how our human nature reflects the balance of power in Nature and the ways that duality shapes our every experience on this earth. This resource can help parents see themselves and their kids differently – improving their connection, honesty and relationships.